In God We Trust, In Insurance We Beg T-Shirt
Made to order · US shipping · Free over $60
About This Product
A faux-scripture for the American insurance experience. Premiums up. Claims denied. Faith required. Unisex tee.
In God we trust. In insurance, we beg.
That's the deal, isn't it. You pay every month, more than last year, more than the year before, and in return you get the privilege of asking. Asking for the medication. Asking for the procedure. Asking a stranger with a quota whether your body deserves the care your doctor already prescribed.
And the answer, somehow, keeps being the same one.
This shirt is for everyone who's noticed. The patient who's done begging. The parent reading another denial letter at the kitchen table. The nurse who hands the phone to the next patient because there's nothing left to say. The person staring at a premium increase notice wondering what, exactly, they're paying for.
Soft, lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. Unisex XS–5XL. Made to actually live in.
The details:
- 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (heather colors contain polyester)
- 4.2 oz./yd² (142 g/m²) — light and breathable
- Pre-shrunk fabric
- Side-seamed construction with shoulder-to-shoulder taping
- Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US
Good to know:
- Fabric is slightly sheer and may appear see-through, especially in lighter colors or under bright lighting
- Replacement guarantee on defective, misprinted, or damaged items (14-day window, photo required)
Size guide
| LENGTH (inches) | WIDTH (inches) | CHEST (inches) | |
| XS | 27 | 16 ½ | 31-34 |
| S | 28 | 18 | 34-37 |
| M | 29 | 20 | 38-41 |
| L | 30 | 22 | 42-45 |
| XL | 31 | 24 | 46-49 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 | 50-53 |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 | 54-57 |
| 4XL | 34 | 30 | 58-61 |
| 5XL | 35 | 31 | 62-65 |
The worst part happens where nobody can see it.
The denial arrives in an envelope. The phone call happens in your kitchen. The appeal is a stack of paper on a table nobody else sits at. None of it is visible from the outside, and that is exactly what makes it work.
Prior Authorize This. exists to drag one piece of it into daylight. You were already dealing with your body. They made you deal with them too.
A shirt doesn't fix any of this. It does make it harder for the system to pretend nobody noticed.